Color

What color is the perfect french fry? Is it a pale yellow, the tawny tan of a pubic hair plucked from a sun-drenched strawberry-blond? Or is it Hostess Twinkie gold? A saffron orange, the gloaming of a tropical sunset, an al dente burnt orange twilight off Lahina?

One subjective view: “Susie says the lighter the better.” It all has to do with sugar.

Taking a more scientific approach, the American Journal of Potato Research published an article in 1974 describing the tools, tubers, and methodology needed for an objective measure of french fry color.

Finally, trust the government to get involved (but only on the frozen side). The “USDA Frozen French Fry Standard” can be ordered for $124.50 or the “USDA french fry color card” for $85.